Friday, May 13, 2011

Real date experience

So I went on a first date (First Date for all those of you who think of it as a capital letter occasion) on Wednesday night.

The deets:

Younger man
Rides a motorcycle
Went to my alma mater, as it turns out. Actually, the initial correspondence went something like this:

From: Me
To: WorkinfortheWeekend


Did you go to ************** university by any chance? I just did a double-take when I saw a reference to ********* bar in one of your photos.

I graduated in ****.. How are you finding life post-***********?

All that aside, I liked what I saw before my minor freak-out over ************. Beer somewhere?



From: WorkinfortheWeekend
To: Me


************** university indeed. We are few and far between around these parts. We should definitely get together and talk survival strategy now that we have left the secure confines of ************.

I teach so I am basically done everyday at 3 haha. How's your week looking?


End correspondence


So we chose a convenient watering hole and decided to meet up in the evening on Wednesday.


And.. as I was walking toward the bar, a bird shat on me. True story.


Fortunately, it got my left arm, purse, and big right toe. Even more fortunately, WorkinfortheWeekend was a little tardy so I was able to clean up in the washroom before seeing him (although he was pretty cool with the whole 'sitting across from the recently shat upon chick' thing; I did tell him - I'm a blabber). 


In a further twist, his sister, her husband, and their 18 month old showed up at the bar. In fairness, they were meeting work friends. They did sit with us for a bit - very nice couple; cute kid. So I met his family on the first (First) date (Date); no biggie. He handled it well. I'm so glad it was HIS family and not mine! Haha... I love my family but gosh, that would be a *little* uncomfortable, hmm? 


Aside from that, all you need to know about the date is that I think I can now safely fall on the birds-bring-you-good-luck-when-they-shit-on-you side of things - I got kissed! Weee!

Real online dating correspondence: Part Two

For inquiring minds now hooked on bad email exchanges.. My apologies but I'll keep feeding your addiction as long as I can (aka: as long as I am single and on dating websites).


Fans of 'girl flex', see below. This is what followed after I suggested that he had hired a monkey to type for him.


From: girl flex
To: Me


too many words, not enough dirty talk *joke* ... ummmm...seeing me will depend on which school board you work at cause I have a son in the catholic school board and well I don't sh*twhere I eat.. or piss where i shit... or both *nasty*

do you wanna tell me???

I'm trent btw

P.S. I have a feeling you might like me when you see me... don't ask, but I think there's something about us having a few things in common... far beyong kissing and soft skin, although those are the fun things!



From: Me
To: girl flex


.. actually - I didn't respond - (I was left temporarily speechless) BUT, he wrote again!


From: girl flex
To: Me


?


From: Me
To: girl flex


Hi Trent,

I don't know what to say.. The eating and sleeping scenario you described does seem pretty disgusting; hard for it not to with that graphic imagery. Do you write creatively on the side?

I think we'd better leave it at this. Good luck!


Monday, May 9, 2011

Real online dating correspondence: Part I


What happens after too much time doing online dating.. yes, I will respond to ridiculous emails.. for sheer entertainment value. Enjoy!!

From: girl flex
To: Me

is that skin as soft as it looks?? lol


From: Me
To: girl flex

All two some-odd meters of it... nice line, GF. Actually, my skin is pretty soft.

How's yours?

And, tell me - this inquiring mind wants to know - what are some of your interests? Or are you saving that for our first date?

I've been running a lot lately - maybe that's why my legs are sore? I've been running through your mind? Haha.. :p

From: girl flex
To: Me

who said anything about dating?!.. I just wanna make out with that hot mouth of yours!!!

From: Me
To: girl flex

Hmmm... my hot mouth is somehow not getting closer to you.. are you SURE you want
to make out with it? You're not very convincing.

I mean, first, there's the whole waaaay too direct approach; I am thinking that I am definitely holding all the cards now! Ha!

Then, there's the fact that while you saaaay you want to make out with my hot mouth, I can only imagine that you will be kissing the screen if we don't date.

Finally, while you appear intelligent enough to type (or have hired a monkey to do the job), I don't know what you look like - unless you are trying to tell me, in an indirect way, that you are so ugly that I shouldn't see you. Should I call you Phantom?

Oh well; I will now wrap my hot mouth around a delicious ice cream sandwich. Yum.

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